Changing Our Relationship to Work in Private Practice

The pandemic undoubtedly caused a significant change in our lives, in all kinds of areas. One of the biggest changes for me has been developing a deeper understanding of my values.  For much of my adult life, I worked a full-time, 40- hour week job in order to support myself. I thought this was the way everyone was supposed to do it. 

I was fortunate to have a salaried job with benefits while working in community mental health. I needed the stability of a steady paycheck to keep my bills paid while I worked towards licensure. During the six years I worked in community mental health, I also became a parent. 

From the time my son was an infant up until he reached kindergarten, I worked full-time, seeing several clients a day, bringing home a little over $40k, while paying for daycare. And I felt like this is the life I would be comfortable living for a little while. My mother did it, I thought, and so could I.

Switching to Private Practice 

Once I obtained my license and realized there wasn’t much room for professional growth at the agency I worked in, I got my feet wet in the private world working for a group practice. It was quite the culture shock for me—one that I hadn’t expected. I worked fewer hours and brought home around the same amount of money as when I was working a W-2 job. But, now I had to account for taxes and health insurance, things I hadn’t thought about at my agency.

I started my own practice part-time in 2019 to supplement my fee-for-service income. I essentially pushed myself back into full-time work between working and building my practice. I was tired a lot of the time, but isn’t every working parent?

Changing My Relationship to Work

Covid-19 changed everything about what I thought was normal. Like so many other mental health providers, for the first time in my career, I had to learn what it was like to provide care in the midst of a global health crisis. Add that to trying to cope with my own traumatic experience of the pandemic, parenting, and merging my home and work life into the same space—I was stretched to my limits. I realized that being a full-time therapist and small business owner was going to have to look different in this new normal.

Like many others, I realized that I had to change my relationship to work. I’ve always enjoyed my career as a psychotherapist, but I came to realize I didn’t want it to be at the center of my life. It’s challenging to grow up in a capitalist system that conditions us to believe that our worth is found in our labor. The years I spent working in community mental health also reinforced this belief that I wasn’t working hard enough if I didn’t end my days feeling completely wiped out. 

I learned during this time that my identity as a mother also impacted my relationship with work. As someone raised by a single mom who struggled with being overworked, I always wanted to be able to experience more ease in life. But, I had no tangible examples of what that kind of life would look like (or if it was even possible). 

My mother worked a full-time job, while also maintaining a household and caring for me and my younger sister. She had always wanted to do something different—perhaps start her own business so that she could have more control of her time. However, there was much more risk starting a business, especially with a mortgage and two children.

Reflecting on my own childhood experiences and my personal values made me realize how much more time became a priority to me. It was ultimately what motivated me to pursue my own practice full-time. 

What Does Work-Life Balance Look Like?

The transition I made from agency work to a group practice, and then eventually running my own practice, made it difficult for me to figure out what work-life balance actually looked like for me. I realized that being a full-time therapist didn’t necessarily mean I had to have a full-time caseload. 

For years, I regularly saw up to six clients a day. Now, I’ve realized I prefer to see three or four clients in a day, and use the rest of my time using my skills in other ways: supervising, consulting, and writing. I also have used the freedom of private practice to set my own fees and schedule to give me more time and space to enjoy my personal life. 

However, sitting with this privilege can be difficult. Like many clinicians, I was taught that no one gets into this field for the money, and that my job is to help people. Also, it admittedly felt a bit strange to me that I was devoting less time to work. If I wasn’t working to the point of exhaustion hours a week, how could I gauge whether I was doing enough?

A New Lens for Productivity

As therapists, we need to let go of the idea that we have to be working a certain number of hours or have a certain size caseload in order to feel productive. 

 “I’ve learned to know my limits of what I can and cannot take on, and stopped comparing my caseload to other clinicians,” shares Kiara Ivory, LMFT, owner of Empower You Solutions in Jacksonville, Florida.

It’s worth noting that for many therapists, finances usually dictate whether they’re working “enough.” Ivory goes on to explain that she determines how many clients she needs to see each week in order to hit her monthly financial goals. However, she tries not to do this at the expense of her own wellbeing. “I know when I’m working too much when I’m feeling overwhelmed at the thought of having sessions or I’m praying a client cancels,” she says. 

For therapists who have other caregiving roles (like being parents), time management is key to maintaining a sense of balance. Ashley Evans, trauma expert and founder of A&R Counseling in Fort Collins, Colorado explains that it’s important for her to be intentional about her time and energy.

“There’s an energy exchange happening [in the therapy room]. I use time blocks between sessions to replenish my energy by taking a nap, eating, things like that,” she says. Evans also expressed the importance of utilizing outside support, like therapy consultation groups, to get assistance in areas where she may struggle.

I had to let go of the idea that I needed to work hard just for the sake of working hard, and instead work hard enough to sustain the life I want.  Private practice allows for more freedom of choice. That means I get to set the standard for what success looks like to me, and get to dictate on my own terms what hard work looks like.