Should Therapists Self-Disclose to Clients?

August 15, 2023

A therapist uses self-disclosure to relate to her client.

During therapy sessions, vulnerability is typically one-sided.

Clients often reveal deep details about their personal lives, while their therapists’ or counselors’ personal lives remain shrouded in mystery.

This one-sided dynamic is a fundamental way in which therapy differs from friendship.

However, there may be appropriate times for therapists to offer personal information to their clients.

The practice of a therapist revealing information about themselves to their clients, is referred to as self-disclosure.

While entry-level graduate students and pre-licensed clinicians are generally discouraged from self-disclosure, seasoned licensed therapists have cultivated tactful ways of utilizing self-disclosure in their practices, in a manner intended to benefit their clients.

Should therapists self-disclose?

As with many aspects of counseling, the answer is: it depends.

Generally speaking, less is more when it comes to self-disclosure.

As mental health practitioners, we want to avoid centering the session around ourselves and keep the attention focused on the person across from us.

When making the decision of whether or not to self-disclose, it can help to ask yourself whether it will benefit your client.

“Self-disclosure should only be done if it is going to benefit the client positively, whether that be benefiting their treatment, enhancing trust in the therapeutic relationship, or helping alleviate shame about specific symptoms,” says New York-based therapist Alegra Kastens, LMFT, a licensed therapist specializing in obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety.

“The relationship is always at the heart of what I do, so it’s always a question of, ‘How will this benefit our relationship together?’when determining whether to self-disclose.” says Nicole Arzt, LMFT creator of Psychotherapy Memes and author of the book Sometimes Therapy is Awkward.

To some extent, a practitioner’s theoretical orientation will influence the therapist’s decision whether or not to self-disclose to a client.

For example, therapists who operate from a traditionally psychoanalytic “blank slate” perspective may avoid self-disclosure altogether.

On the other hand, some orientations view self-disclosure as a key aspect of their practice.

For example, in feminist therapy, self-disclosure can be an important avenue for challenging the inherent power differentials in the therapy room.

The pros and cons of self-disclosure

When accomplished tactfully and thoughtfully, self-disclosure can have a number of positive benefits for clients.

According to a meta-analysis published in 2018, therapist self-disclosures are associated with improvements in mental health and an enhanced therapeutic alliance.

Self-disclosures can signal to clients that they aren’t alone in what they are experiencing.

For clients experiencing stressors due to identity-based social oppression—such as racial trauma or homophobia—self-disclosure from a therapist with a shared identity can create a sense of solidarity and trust.

In fact, many clients may seek out therapists with shared identities to avoid over-explaining themselves to therapists who may not understand. Arzt elaborates that self-disclosure is often a way of conveying, “You’re not alone. I see you, and I validate you.”

In this way, disclosures can also be powerful tools for reducing the power imbalance between client and counselor.

The dangers of self-disclosure are also necessary to evaluate so clinicians can avoid common pitfalls.

If a therapist does not consider the impact of a disclosure, it could compromise the therapeutic rapport and professional relationship between themselves and their client.

For instance, a counselor who discloses a personal story, which they haven’t yet completely processed beforehand, can create a confusing role-reversal for the client.

Additionally, when done in excess, self-disclosure can shift the focus away from the client.

“It’s not about me—it’s their time,”says Kathryn Galvin, MSW, LCSW. “I am more likely to share information about myself when it could be validating, or [when] creating a further sense of safety.”

Galvin crafts intentional self-disclosures in order to avoid risks and maximize the benefits of helping her clients feel understood.

What is an appropriate self-disclosure?

Determining appropriate content for disclosure can be tricky. This decision often depends on personal boundaries.

For some therapists, disclosing their favorite TV shows may not be a big deal, but others may prefer to keep firm boundaries.

Galvin notes that she has a few “non-negotiables” that she does not share about her personal life and interests.

To determine her self-disclosure boundaries, Galvin asks herself “How deep does the disclosure go?” and ‘Is it something I’m OK with literally anyone knowing?”

“The answers to those questions help me determine if it’s the right step,” she says. “I am always mindful that what I say can be shared with whomever they choose, so if it’s something I’d rather keep private, then I know I should not disclose.”

Therapists with prominent social media presences may disclose more to their current and prospective clients via their online posts.

“The self-disclosure technically occurs via my social media before a client even gets to my office… and that’s OK with me,” says Kastens, who uses her large Instagram following as a platform to speak about mental health. “I’ve chosen to share my story publicly and create an educational platform because there is not nearly enough information out there about OCD.”

When Kastens searched around to choose her own OCD specialist, the practitioner’s social media presence was a deciding factor— she wanted to make sure her potential therapist understood her experiences.

Similarly, Kastens’ own clients are often drawn to her online presence because she appears to understand their experiences.

“I understand their brains and where [their thinking] goes because my brain has gone there too,” she says. “Self-disclosure can help clients open up about their symptoms— especially the more taboo ones.”

After writing a book and running a well-known therapy memes page, Arzt says that she has learned to manage self-disclosure more in her own practice.

“I have found sharing my countertransference reactions tends to be a positive experience when it comes to self-disclosing, and it also aligns with my more psychodynamic approach,” she explains.

When and How Should Therapists Self-Disclose?

As a general principle, the best time to self-disclose is when you are certain you have a solid understanding of why you are disclosing and after you have considered its potential impact.

Beyond this, there are several helpful guidelines for introducing self-disclosures into a session:

Be brief

If therapists offer lengthy narratives about their own life, it can easily disrupt the typical client-therapist roles.

Practice ahead of time, and prepare for any potential outcome

Galvin shares that in her work with kids, they play lots of “Get to Know You” question-asking games. Her usual practices involve looking through questions and preparing answers ahead of time so that she isn’t caught off guard.

Practice disclosure based on each individual relationship with your client

For instance, are you sitting across from a client who has difficulty opening up? A low-risk disclosure earlier in the therapeutic relationship may be helpful to invite more of your client’s authenticity. How and when you disclose may be different for individual clients.

Even though self-disclosure can be tricky to navigate as a therapist, especially if you’re newer to private practice, the positive benefits can be well worth it.

“Going to therapy myself, for a very long time, I appreciate when a therapist is transparent about some of their own lived experience,” says Arzt.

This authenticity and transparency is just one of many tools in our therapist tool-belt that can help us connect with clients on a human-to-human level.