Boundaries Worksheet
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Looking for a personal boundaries worksheet? This article provides an overview of boundaries, a free downloadable boundaries worksheet for therapy clients, and more.
A boundaries worksheet can be a useful tool for clients seeking therapy to work on interpersonal relationships and conflict.
Whether you support individual clients, families, or couples, you can support your clients in setting personal boundaries using therapy worksheets on boundaries.
This article discusses types of boundaries for both adults and kids, benefits of setting boundaries, and examples.
You can also download a free personal boundaries worksheet,which includes a healthy boundaries handout to give to your clients to take home. Or, you can download the boundaries worksheet and save it to your electronic health record (EHR) to educate clients about the importance of boundaries and how to strengthen theirs during a session.
Types of boundaries
Setting boundaries is an assertive communication strategy where a person maintains their values in all areas of their life and relationships. Boundaries determine where one person’s responsibilities begin and end. Boundaries also highlight what is important, and they establish clear expectations in relationships.
In other words, boundaries are an important part of an individual’s personal blueprint to living harmoniously, safely, and in alignment with what they deem important.
A lack of boundaries or poor boundaries, however, can lead to chaos in a relationship, feeling taken advantage of, increased anxiety and resentment, a lack of safety, and feeling exhausted all the time.
There are seven main types of boundaries: physical, sexual, emotional, material, intellectual, spiritual or religious, and time boundaries.
The following descriptions are also included in the types of boundaries worksheet, which you can download for free and provide as a handout in sessions.
Physical boundaries
Physical boundaries protect your physical body, space, and physical needs.
For example, you get to decide if and how you want to be touched, your privacy, and when you need to rest, sleep, and eat.
Physical boundaries can also say how you want people to behave in your space. For example, let’s say you’re sober, and your friend comes to your house to visit with a bottle of wine. They know that you’re sober. However, since this is your home, you get to decide whether you feel comfortable with them drinking in your home.
Sexual boundaries
Sexual boundaries determine consent, what you feel comfortable engaging in sexually and with whom, safety, desires, what to avoid, your right to a sexual health history, and relationship intentions and expectations.
For example, you may want to engage in play, but do not feel comfortable doing so outside of your home. Or, you may want to explore polyamory, however, in order to do so ethically and consensually, you’ll want to be in alignment with the sexual boundaries of your partner before engaging in another relationship. A framework to discuss sexual boundaries is called STARS talk by Evelin Dacker, MD.
Emotional boundaries
These boundaries refer to what you feel comfortable discussing about yourself or taking on from others, and the right to discuss your thoughts and feelings.
For example, if a friend has had a break-up or is going through a challenging situation, but you didn’t sleep for the last few nights, you may not feel up to talking to them about their situation until you feel rested.
Or, perhaps you have a friend that always shares their problems, and it feels like they are always emotionally “dumping” on you. An emotional boundary might be created to set limits to those conversations.
Intellectual boundaries
An intellectual boundary protects your thoughts and ideas while respecting others’ thoughts and ideas. Intellectual boundaries can also help to determine appropriate topics of discussion.
For example, an intellectual boundary might involve refraining from discussing political issues with family members who you know have opposing views that cause undue strife.
Time boundaries
Time boundaries relate to using and respecting your time in a way that doesn’t compromise your needs and other responsibilities.
Material boundaries
Material boundaries refer to other people’s use of your property. These boundaries also include financial boundaries, which protect your material and financial resources, and the right to use those resources as you desire.
For example, you may set a material boundary that a friend cannot borrow your car without your express permission.
Spiritual or religious boundaries
Spiritual or religious boundaries protect your beliefs and how you wish to practice or honor those beliefs.
This might include giving up candy during Lent, fasting during Yom Kippur or Ramadan, abstaining from certain foods or alcohol, or refraining from participating in activities that are not in alignment with your religious or spiritual beliefs.
Why is it important to set boundaries?
Boundaries protect a person’s internal and external resources, values, and peace of mind.
They are important for several reasons, such as:
- Boundaries ensure safety and safeguard physical and emotional resources
- Setting healthy boundaries strengthens self-esteem and overall mental health
- Boundaries communicate to others how a person wants to be treated along with the consequences of not honoring those boundaries, leading to healthy relationships
Conversely, violating personal boundaries can lead to feelings of discomfort, a lack of safety, overwhelm or resentment. This can result in the person whose boundaries are violated choosing to avoid other people.
Examples of setting healthy boundaries
There are several ways to set healthy boundaries, depending on a client’s age and specific situation.
Here are a few examples of how you might create boundaries worksheets for different types of clients:
Boundaries worksheet for kids
Teaching kids healthy boundaries is important in terms of setting limits, learning appropriate behavior, and honoring their needs.
A few ways to teach boundaries to children include:
- Communicating that it’s OK to say “No” in relation to personal boundaries, like another kid coming into their personal space
- Emphasizing the importance of not talking to strangers by walking away and speaking to a trusted adult when a stranger approaches them
Personal boundaries worksheet
Through the process of talk therapy, it may become apparent when a client is experiencing a violation of a personal boundary—making a personal boundaries worksheet a useful tool for psychoeducation.
For example, they might report experiencing a lack of safety in a certain situation, talk about resentment towards someone, or describe feeling uncomfortable with a person and their actions.
Examples of setting healthy personal boundaries might include:
- Telling colleagues when they are too close and what distance/actions feel more comfortable
- Informing a friend who is becoming flirtatious and overly touchy that you feel uncomfortable, don’t share romantic feelings, and ask them to refrain from touching you
Sexual boundaries
Let's say a client has told you they’ve been on a few successful dates and is developing a romantic connection that they want to take further.
Sexual boundaries they can set include discussing desires, what to avoid sexually, how they want to communicate, sexual health information, relationship status, and their boundaries in terms of the openness of the relationship.
How to use the boundaries worksheet
You can use the boundaries worksheet in multiple ways, including:
- As a healthy boundaries handout for clients to take home
- As a psychoeducation tool
- To create a boundaries worksheet for adults, which describes the types of boundaries and provides examples
The printable setting boundaries worksheet explains what boundaries are and the different types, so clients can take notes and relate the information to their own lives.
After clients determine their boundaries from the personal boundaries worksheet, you can provide them with assertive communication examples to effectively set healthy boundaries.
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