Printable Relationship Expectations Worksheet
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Looking for a relationship needs and wants worksheet? This free printable relationship expectations worksheet can help therapists identify client expectations, boundaries, and their relational strengths.
Whether you’re an individual or couples therapist, the free printable relationship expectations worksheet may be a useful resource for your practice.
This article explores common relationship expectations, tips on how to set boundaries, and a free downloadable relationship needs and wants worksheet that you can print or save to your electronic health record (EHR).
Relationship expectations list
Expectations in a relationship can be a cause of conflict, especially if each person places a different value on certain needs.
One person may feel completely clear about their values and needs, but may not communicate those expectations effectively with their partner. This mismatch, sometimes coupled with unrealistic expectations, may be the source of disagreements, conflict, and create an overall unhappy relationship.
That’s why it's helpful to explore expectations with a partner, assess how both people feel about how reasonable those expectations are, and use those expectations to set realistic and clear boundaries.
Expectations tend to fall into several categories, including:
- Communication: Partners may want to discuss expectations, such as response times, preferred ways to communicate, how information is processed, heard, acknowledged, and relayed, and how to feel heard and valued.
- Sex life: This includes desires, boundaries, frequency, how sex is initiated, aftercare, etc.
- Time: The amount of time spent together and alone, if partners socialize together, and the activities each partner may find more fulfilling individually.
- Values: Everyone has different values. However, key values for a relationship—like respect, consideration, honesty, trust, and compassion—may be shown or understood in different ways between partners. Understanding this can avoid conflict.
- Conflict: This includes expectations about how conflict is handled, communicated, and repaired. For instance, can both parties honor a differing perspective? Can these conflict discussions happen calmly and are both people willing to compromise?
- Equality: How things are shared, such as decision-making, and the division of chores and responsibilities.
- Financial management: Deciding how money is managed, how decisions are made about finances, individual autonomy, budgets, etc.
- Relationship dynamic: Couples may want to explore their commitment level, such as whether they are exclusive, dating others, and if the relationship is polyamorous or monogamous.
- Family and parenting: This includes how decisions are made in the family, the division of family responsibilities, important values for each parent, and expectations of their children.
- Safety and well-being: While this also includes trust and respect, it’s important to create a safe environment where a partner feels heard and conflict is navigated rather than avoided. It’s also important for a couple to be committed to their collective health and well-being, as well as individually.
Setting boundaries in a relationship
Setting appropriate boundaries (and maintaining them) is an important part of having a healthy relationship, whether that’s with children, a romantic partner, or friends and family.
Boundaries relate to the limits of what an individual can tolerate and the consequences of breaching that boundary for the other person.
Many relationship boundaries may seem to be common sense, like treating people with respect, avoiding calling a person names, blaming them, or resorting to violence.
The consequences of these actions include conflict and maybe even separation with safety concerns.
However, just like expectations in a relationship, boundaries differ from person-to-person.
Boundaries in a relationship might look like:
- Emotional boundaries: These boundaries relate to communication. For instance, a boundary might be that you won’t tolerate shouting, name calling, or abusive behavior. Other examples of this boundary may be to communicate when running late, to not avoid difficult conversations, and to not assume responsibility for your partner’s emotions.
- Physical boundaries: These boundaries state what you feel comfortable with relating to your body, space, and physical needs.
- Material boundaries: These relate to the use of property or financial resources. For instance, you may have a boundary that your partner needs to ask permission before taking your car or making a large purchase.
- Trust: An important relational boundary is to consider what would violate trust in the relationship.
- Other relationships: Some people may feel uncomfortable if their partner spends alone time with someone else, especially if they have dated them before. Or, perhaps there are certain friends that encourage irresponsible behavior, like going out drinking all night and not coming home. An appropriate relationship boundary may be to limit time with other people like this, or to have some limits on that social time.
- Spiritual or religious boundaries: These protect your beliefs and how you honor them.
When setting boundaries, it’s important to be clear and assertive. You may find our assertive communication worksheets helpful for examples of this type of communication to provide to clients as a handout.
When to use the printable relationship expectations worksheet
The printable expectations worksheet can help therapists to support their clients in many ways, such as:
- A whiteboard tool in virtual telehealth sessions
- Psychoeducational handout about relationships
- To work through reasonable relationship expectations and boundaries
- To process relational challenges
- To inform treatment planning information
What’s included in the printable relationship expectations worksheet?
Our printable relationship worksheet contains several worksheets in one, including:
- Relationship needs and wants worksheet: This worksheet provides clients with a printable expectations in a relationship list. By using that list, clients can identify their own wants and needs.
- Setting boundaries worksheet: With their expectations in mind, clients can then relate their expectations to their boundary limits and identify the consequences for a person who violates a boundary.
- Relationship inventory worksheet: This section of the worksheet asks clients to reflect on questions such as, “What are the strengths of your relationship?” and “What are some areas that you’d like to work on?”
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