10 Green Flags in a Relationship
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Seeking a relationship green flags checklist you can share with clients in relationship therapy to help them recognize 10 green flags in a relationship?
This article covers 10 green flags in a relationship and provides a handy relationship green flag checklist to go over with your clients, which you can download and print out or save it to your electronic health record (EHR) for therapists for future use.
How therapy can help clients with their relationships
Relationship therapy supports clients in making healthy relationship choices. As a mental health clinician, part of your role is to empower clients to recognize green flags in a person—whether they’re pursuing romantic partners or friendships.
Investing in therapy helps clients grow individually as well as in their relationships, romantic and otherwise.
Couples therapy provides a safe space where individuals in a monogamous romantic relationship can process and explore areas such as:
- How to handle or resolve conflict
- What healthy relationships look like
- How to strengthen your listening skills
- Assertive communication strategies
- Overcoming traumatic experiences in a relationship, like domestic violence
- Navigating difficult situations with people in positions of power
- How a person’s early life experiences can shape how they interact in romantic and platonic relationships
The therapeutic dynamic is a healthy relationship that can serve as an example for other relationships in the client’s life—strengthening the therapeutic relationship can have a domino effect on the relationship building goals the client has set for themselves.
Not only does therapy provide an opportunity to model healthy relationships with clients in session, but it can build client confidence, provide guidance and reassurance, and allow clients to feel accepted for who they are—all markers of great relationships in life.
Healthy vs. unhealthy qualities of relationships
Unhealthy behaviors—or red flags—are toxic to the health of any relationship, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic connection.
Traits like defensiveness, gaslighting, feeling unappreciated, feeling unheard, or abuse (emotional and physical) are all red flags that indicate it may be time to exit a relationship.
Sometimes, however, these signs don’t appear right away—and you may notice they emerge over time in your client’s narrative. It may even take a friend or therapist to point them out.
Green flags in a person, on the other hand, are qualities to seek out in relationships. Relationship green flags can indicate the potential longevity of a relationship because the person demonstrates certain attributes that indicate it's safe to express one’s own thoughts and feelings.
10 green flags in a relationship
This relationship green flags checklist includes attributes of healthy relationships, indicating compatibility for friendships, co-workers, or a potential partner.
While not an exhaustive list, here are 10 green flags in a relationship to share and discuss with clients:
1. Feeling heard
While it may sound simple, it often takes effort to actively listen to what the other person in a relationship is saying. Active listening demonstrates that you’ve taken time to understand and consider the other person’s point of view, without interruption or interjecting your thoughts and judgements.
2. Showing empathy
Empathy plays a central role in relationships by recognizing the other person’s emotions, validating them, and communicating that you care about the other person.
3. Ability to express thoughts and feelings
Feeling comfortable expressing thoughts and feelings in a relationship is one of the 10 green flags in a relationship—it can demonstrate self-awareness, vulnerability, trust, willingness to improve, and promotes empathy.
4. They’re kind and considerate
How you feel you are being treated and how you witness the person treating others matters. The right person consistently shows kindness to both the person they’re in a relation with or interested in pursuing, and to total strangers.
5. Self-awareness
It’s important to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, emotions, and how you express yourself to others. Understanding how you show up in the world and how your actions affect others can help you communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships.
6. They show effort and reciprocity in the relationship
Effort in a relationship is a green flag because it demonstrates commitment, willingness to change or progress, and an active interest in the other person’s feelings. Putting in effort signals that a person shares the responsibility of co-creating and maintaining the health of the relationship.
7. Taking accountability
A key quality in any relationship is being able to receive feedback and acknowledging the impact your actions have on others. Taking responsibility, apologizing, and making amends strengthens relationships by building trust and promoting forgiveness and growth.
8. The relationship moves at a comfortable pace
When a relationship progresses at a comfortable pace, it gives each person time to process it, deepen the connection, and get to know each other without feeling rushed or pressured to pre-maturely escalate the relationship before assessing compatibility.
9. Willingness to be honest and vulnerable
Being honest about your feelings, needs, and desires can feel daunting, but it can also foster a deeper connection. Problem solving through clear communication can strengthen the bonds of the relationship—developing empathy and understanding between people.
10. Follow through and consistency
A partner that follows through on their words or promises with their actions, demonstrates consistency. This builds trust by showing reliability in the relationship, leading to a sense of security and long-term stability.
What’s included in the relationship green flags checklist?
The downloadable and printable “10 Green Flags In a Relationship'' checklist provides key qualities to look for in a healthy relationship, discussed in the article. Whether your client is looking for green flags in a guy that they are dating or asking you about healthy qualities in a friendship, this downloadable and printable handout can be helpful.
You can save this checklist to your EHR to electronically send or print for clients at your convenience.
This checklist is a great reference tool for any client with relationship treatment goals or questions. Discuss it in-session and share it with your clients to take home and refer to as a guide.
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